classic

ebb and flow

We're served with stressful waves and troughs of routine in between.  (Or at least I'm sure that is true in a balanced life... but I'm pretty darn sure it's unanimous.)  In the times where we're challenged and thrown into situations unprepared, we grow.  We have to.

I think the key to success is to use the times in your life where you feel comfortable to reflect, I mean really reflect, on the more difficult periods.  For one, we have all sorts of incomplete emotions that were swallowed by necessity, but unlike food, cannot be digested.  To think about “why” or “how” or “what did I learn” is hardly ever a waste of time, especially when these questions are perplexing.  To really sink your teeth into your past makes your experiences more significant.  And when all we really have is the human experience, why not?

I imagine our growth as structure on a building, the foundation skyrocketing in spurts of forced adaptation.  But on the downtime, there's so much more to be done - the softer details, if you will.

Perhaps that's why I love traveling.  By walking the streets of a foreign place, you're learning of the world and how to navigate it.  But also, by removing yourself from your little habitat, it is much easier to think about the "why"s of your life and how they relate to the bigger scheme of things.  Although you can't really work towards conventional success while on the road, there are ways to fit travel into your life to make it functional (a.k.a. my ultimate goal for the next 5 years, after loan repayment).  Albeit indulgent, I think it's the perfect activity for growth.

charlie kaufman

John Laroche: Point is, what's so wonderful is that every one of these flowers has a specific relationship with the insect that pollinates it. There's a certain orchid look exactly like a certain insect so the insect is drawn to this flower, its double, its soul mate, and wants nothing more than to make love to it. And after the insect flies off, spots another soul-mate flower and makes love to it, thus pollinating it. And neither the flower nor the insect will ever understand the significance of their lovemaking. I mean, how could they know that because of their little dance the world lives? But it does. By simply doing what they're designed to do, something large and magnificent happens. In this sense they show us how to live - how the only barometer you have is your heart. How, when you spot your flower, you can't let anything get in your way.

from Adaptation

things he has learned in his life so far

1. Helping other people helps me.
2. Having guts always works out for me.
3. Thinking that life will be better in the future is stupid. I have to live now.
4. Organising a charity group is surprisingly easy.
5. Being not truthful always works against me.
6. Everything I do always comes back to me.
7. Assuming is stifling.
8. Drugs feel great in the beginning and become a drag later on.
9. Over time I get used to everything and start taking for granted.
10. Money does not make me happy.
11. My dreams have no meaning.
12. Keeping a diary supports personal development.
13. Trying to look good limits my life.
14. Material luxuries are best enjoyed in small doses.
15. Worrying solves nothing.
16. Complaining is silly. Either act or forget.
17. Everybody thinks they are right.
18. If I want to explore a new direction professionally, it is helpful to try it out for myself first.
19. Low expectations are a good strategy.
20. Everybody who is honest is interesting.

Stefan Sagmeister

I admire his message and style.

I feel so much more about this, but it could be awhile before the words come to fruition.  For now, I'll just say that to someday work for Mr. Sagmeister would be a dream come true.

interests align

I knew I loved these podcasts!

Somehow, my public library kick took away from watching my two favorite podcasts: Best of YouTube and TEDTalks.  With all this free time, I thought I could catch up on so many life changing books and movies (complements of the local government) without sacrificing my updates on the best selection of web clips and intellectual/designer forces in the world.  Free time, free rentals, free podcasts - I love this country.

I am filled with love right now, can you tell?

Anyway, I was very impressed by this YouTube in my podcasts and decided to keep it in my iTunes along with the elite handful that have survived.  So I scroll down, watch a few TEDs and come across him again!  Both selection processes appeal to my soul after all.

Everything is connected; just sometimes it takes a new perspective in order to see it yourself.

speak from the heart

So I heard multiple people reference the book, The Five Love Languages, in relation to their romances and then I noticed it prominently displayed at Borders.  Actually I think the first time I heard the title was on Real Housewives of Orange County - shoot me now.  Needless to say, Gary Chapman's ideas have swept up masses, or at least brought them to purchase and skim the book.

I guess the book is a way for lovers to find out what "language they speak" and what their partner wants to "hear".  The five:

Words of Affirmation  Kind, affirming words of praise build confidence, trust and respect.
Quality Time  Conversations, walks and shared meals are things couples can do together if one of them needs to feel loved this way.
Physical Touch  A preference for receiving love through physical touch involves hugging, holding hands, kissing, caressing and patting that doesn't necessarily lead to sexual intercourse.
Gifts to Express Love  People who feel loved when they receive a present indicate their primary love language is through the receiving of gifts. It is the number of gifts, not the size or cost, that count.
Acts of Service  Preparing a meal, running errands, doing the laundry, cleaning a car, mowing the grass, fixing a leaky faucet, painting a room, vacuuming the floor and cleaning the bathroom or kitchen all are acts of service for the benefit of a loved one.

Chapman's five languages of love can all be simplified down to one message - generosity.  I take it he agrees that the best way to love is to share yourself with another.

& I think it's safe to say we all speak that language.

liggie fudim

How sweet it is when the strong are also gentle.

best pancakes

This is the yummiest way to eat pancakes.  Don't knock it 'til you try it.

in accord with reality

No, I've never talked about a loved one behind their back.  Cigarettes?  Ew, none.  Always wash my hands before cooking... and I don't sample food with my fingers.
^& that's the easy stuff to admit.

When we lie about ourselves, the purpose is to hide what we're ashamed of, right?  So if people stopped lying, it'd be an upward spiral of decency.  First come the first layers of honesty, obviously.  Then we'd have to face the disgrace.  & then we'd change.

People are flawed in their inability to predict situations they'll face(, especially far) in the future.  Looking back, it's easy to see what we should've said or done from the get-go, but manipulation is far too easy and justifiable when it seems as though problems will float away with a little white lie.

Just yesterday, I came down in my pajamas and my mom offered me coffee, which she served in a dainty mug I've probably never drank out of.  I commented on the size of it and my mom pointed out her equally sized cup and suggested we were in a French bistro, which of course prompted a playtime French bistro conversation, until I went for the real deal and emptied the carafe into my favorite hefty mug.  Turns out, my mom wanted to have the last of the coffee.  No big deal, right?  But if she had initially revealed her true intentions behind giving me a puny cup, I wouldn't have taken the coffee she tried to save.  You lie, you lose.  Eventually.

So I've dabbled in pretty much all of the Cardinal Sins and even defiled a Commandment or two, but I'm still doin' alright.  The morality I care about from here on out is encompassed by a life of truth.  & that alone could've kept me away from the most dishonorable things I've ever done... but hey.

ken robinson

If you're not prepared to be wrong you'll never come up with anything original.

marc pachter

Everybody in their lives is really waiting for people to ask them questions so they can be truthful about who they are and how they became what they are and I commend that to you.

smart art

Vladamir Kush was the only man who swept me off my feet in Vegas.  Didn't see that one coming.  After standing awe-struck with my face nearly glued to paintings in his Caesar's Palace gallery (and actually seeing his coolly wearied slavic face, ha) I've officially stamped him as my favorite artist...

All labels aside, though, he has some really beautiful and clever work.

think before you speak, or type

11:59pm Margaret
what do you want for your birthday?
11:59pm Emi
idk lol
g2g
ttyl
12:00am Margaret
omg so many acronyms!

another resolution

& wouldn't it be nice if the only thing uptight about people was their posture?

I'll work on that.

chicken

I can picture some wide-eyed actress on screen asking up to her hero "Oh, but weren't you afraid?!"  And I'm thinking - uh yeah, sure, it ain't no thang jumping into a burning house to bare-handed take down an axe murderer and rescue her child. No big deal.

But people aren't as fearful as I and maybe something that seems so obviously terrifying doesn't rile a more confident, able-bodied person.

Point being, my New Year's resolution is to stop being so afraid, especially in events I know to be safe.

For example, I'm watching Fracture last night alongside a sleeping Mom and during a confrontation between A. Hopkins and R. Gosling, I find myself pulling the blanket up over my nose, anticipating sudden gunfire.  Honestly, though - why?  How much of my life am I willing to hide under the comfort of a cozy blanket?

I am sure I will not be the 0.001% that faints or falls out of a roller coaster or the one who is mauled by a bear in the dead of night walking to the outhouse on a summer camping trip.  I mean, those are the easiest things to get over, but who knows, I might just skydive* by December.

2009 I set out to try a bunch of new things and it was probably the best year of my life.  So if I am no longer bound by silly fears come 2011, I will claim the world as my oyster.

*Whoopty-do! I know I'm ultimate chicken.

[cat]

You've created so much in college! Your insights and your friendship and the hours we've spent figuring the world and our lives out are forever recorded in my memory. Your portfolio, if you will, rests in each of your friends' hearts and minds, and that porftolio is fat and impressive. You've, thus far, invested your creative energy into the very best outlet-- people. And we will never forget it. But blogs are cool too; keep writing haha. xoxo

the strain of opposites

Admiration

or Jealousy

lead me to begin another blog - this blog. Welcome! haha

Last night, two of my best girl friends and I attended an intimate hippie performing arts night at a college house around the corner. Between spoken word poetry, a beat-boxing flutist and songs of the Rolling Stones, we each felt breaths of inspiration and a little bit of "he sang that song to me."

Bean Night

There was a lot of talent in that room, swirling and changing with the heat of bodies. I'm pretty sure that air came home with us and was breathed out in readings of hilarious short stories.

See, Lizzie, forever friend and art student, began a creative writing class this quarter to complement her curriculum in, well, producing really cool things. Back at her house, Lizzie opened a folder of some new really cool things, including her classmates' recent assignments sharing sexual experiences that didn't go as expected.

They were so funny.

& need to be published.

But what hooked me with these stories was the changeless honesty - the same honesty I see in Cat's words. See, Cat, forever friend and recent literature graduate, is the missing lady in this trio of last night's positivity. Sitting up, back against the armrest, I looked at these two splendid ladies sharing the couch with me. However simple I feel the truth of our bond, the complexity in waves of time is what makes it beautiful.

I believe I feel the same about art. Identifying the truth in an emotion is as simple as it gets, but conveying it in words through song or in groupings of color on canvas delves deeper into the complexity with which our human brains can identify.

So what I'm trying to get at, I guess, is how much I admire creation of really cool things. Both Lizzie and Cat will leave college with invaluable portfolios capturing spurts of their creative beings.  I feel like all I did was pass tests.  But I believe that like art and literature majors, we all have things to share.

The straw that broke the camel's back came in a Facebook message. My stylish sister Allison, another talented woman in my life, sent the link to her new blog tracking her unique interests and impeccable taste.

Allison's Wonderland

Admiration

not Jealousy

lead me to begin this blog. I'm very proud of these ladies.

Anyway, here I am with my first entry. I realize that I am not a very good writer, but every once in a while (ref: personal diary of the past year) I chime a chord of truth that is worth recording. I just hope it's worth reading! <3